I am terrified of following my purpose. Every time I write “my purpose” I am so tempted to write “what I believe to be my purpose.” I don’t want to own it, it’s almost as though I’m waiting I’m just waiting for someone to tell me that I’m wrong. By following my purpose I could either change my life, or fail miserably, or both.
My ego is so scared of failure. The “what ifs” can spin out of control. What if I invest in trainings and I totally fail? What if I can’t find clients? What if I just suck? What if I’m crazy for thinking that I, of all people, could help anyone at all? It can get so loud and overwhelming. But then, if I sit still for a few moments, I get this feeling deep, deep down in my gut. Call it spirit, call it intuition, call it whatever makes you feel comfortable. It’s a feeling that if I keep going, if I try, if I come from an intention of light and grace I will succeed. It’s a comforting, warm, resolute feeling and it’s keeping me going. It reminds me of an important lesson:
Always Trust Your Inner Guide
The ego can masquerade as your gut, but deep down, if you sit still, you’ll know if it’s your inner guide. You’ll know because it’ll feel right. Content. It might now feel huge or exciting, but more like it’s just been “that way” all along. For me, it’s less of an “AHA!!!” and more of an “of course,” and that, dear ones, is a great feeling.
If you’d like to try to get cozier with your inner guide, try meditating for a few minutes. It might not happen the first time, or the second, or so on, but someday, just when you least expect it, you might have an “of course” moment. When I first started meditating, I’d only be able to sit for a couple of minutes. If you’re new to meditation, try either sitting cross-legged, in a chair, or lay down. Close your eyes, and listen to yourself breathe. I set a time for two or three minutes – now I listen to certain music, and know that once that song has repeated twice, I’m usually done (about 15 minutes… yes, the song is 7 minutes long!). Just slowing down can help you feel calmer and more centered, so even if you don’t connect with your inner guide, you still receive all of the other benefits!
Where in your life do you need a bit of courage?
Have you ever tried meditating?
Let me know in the comments!
Peace and love, dear ones!